List of Top 10 Uses for a Bumper Crop of Cucumbers

Find the hidden cucumbers.

Look, I like zucchini, but evidently I am the only gardener on the East Coast who can't grow it.

Therefore, we planted a variety of cucumber called Dasher last year, and boy did it live up to its name. Dasher ran circles around the chicken-wire fencing of our modest raised beds, producing tasty, good-looking vegetables long into October.

So naturally we bought two this year, labeled Dasher 2  -- Child of Dasher, I guess. Dasher sure would be proud of its progeny.

... Imagine the crisp, crunchy, hydrating, flavorful cucumber, multiplied by hundreds. You can marinate them, freeze them, pickle and can them, make relish and sandwiches, and carve them into little containers. You can peel them, slice them, make masks and water, turn them into wine, dip them in chocolate, and put them on a stick. The only limitation of cucumis sativus is you can't really cook 'em  (Schalgurkin notwithstanding).

Word Problem of the Day: If Pat's garden measures 6x8 ft., and two Dasher 2 vines have circled the perimeter once producing one cucumber every 10 inches, then how is Pat gonna get out of all of the above-mentioned, time-and-labor-intensive ways of preparing cucumbers?

Extra Credit: Discuss whether last year's policy of forbidding guests to leave the house without a cucumber violated constitutional rights.

Look, I'm tired of thinking up excuses for why I'm too lazy to slice and dice all day long. So the solution to the above Word Problem is: By coming up with some alternative uses.

So here's the Top 10 List of Alternative Uses for Excess Cucumbers (SPOILER ALERT: If you are looking for penis jokes, forget it! This blog is all about challenges!):


                               Top 10 List of Alternative Uses for Excess Cucumbers


     10.  Gherkin size makes stylish edible earrings, necklaces, and bracelets.

      9.   Contest: How many cucumbers in this truckload? Grand Prize: A truckload of cucumbers.

      8.   Possom bait. Now that's something you can cook.

      7.   Bob for cucumbers at Labor Day party.

      6.   'Project Runway' challenge fodder.
       
      5.  Make them into lamps.

      4.  This is harder than I expected, gotta waste one number.

      3.  Must-have personal security weapon for dieting women.

      2.  New game sensation: 'Cool As a Cucumber or In a Pickle?' Rules are similar to the card game Hearts, and the player with the most cucumbers loses. Also, the rules clearly state I personally am exempt from losing.


And The No. 1 Alternative Use for Excess Cucumbers:


      1.  New global monetary standard: CukeCoin. DasherDollars too!




Anyone who wants to add to this list wins a free cucumber!



http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cucumber

http://www.bonappetit.com/recipes/2011/07/mango-cucumber-wine-cooler

http://allrecipes.com/recipe/cucumber-nut-bread/













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