Quiz: Guess the Mystery Food

Those searching for educational value in this post may want to skip to the end.

Everyone else: Guess the mystery food:

   a.) Texas Olives

   b.)  Greek Meatballs

   c.) Alaskan King Cherries

   d.) That's not a food

   e.) None of the above

   f.) Serial Killer Tomato, having smothered the basil, two varieties of pepper, lettuce, parsley, cilantro, and cucumber, and now is threatening the mint and peonies outside the raised bed

   g.) This is just one plant

   h.) I think I saw a dead toad pinned inside a cluster

   i.) This plant may be related to kudzu

   j.) Tastes like chicken

   k.) Did I mention this is only one plant

   l.) One of the fruits has markings which look like Elvis

   m.)  I'm not sure it's safe to approach unarmed

   n.)  f, k i, g, and sometimes l and m (Ok you know I'm just messing with you now)




I found the answer strolling through our town farmer's market, where I spotted some for sale and inquired:

  o.) This is an heirloom variety of small tomatoes called Black Velvet. They are as tasty as any tomato I've ever grown.

  p.) Kudos to everyone who got it right. I bet the Elvis clue was the clincher.













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3,491 Feet Above Sea Level

We just returned from an overnight trip to the Berkshires -- specifically, the upper left pocket of Massachusetts to North Adams and Williamstown.

The area has spectacular mountain scenery and plenty of places to visit squeezed into a narrow river valley formed by the Hoosic and its branches amid the Taconic, Hoosic, and Berkshire mountains.

Access is gained from the east via Massachusetts Route 2 -- the historic Mohawk Trail -- which traces trade routes along the Millers, Deerfield, and Hoosac Rivers used by Atlantic native tribes doing business with their 'upstate' (and uphill) neighbors.


En route, the Rocket Scientist wanted to stop at one of the native American gift shops at some of the summits, but he couldn't pry my hands from the dashboard grab bar.

Look, the Rocket Scientist grew up on the side of a mountain and has no fear of heights whereas at 5' 4" I'm a hug-the-ground type of chick. 

-- I dunno how to account for this, but whether we were heading up a mountain or down, whether we were traveling east or west, north or south -- I was always on the side of the car hanging off the cliff. How is that possible??

Anyway, our first stop was Mt. Greylock -- presumably named after the numerous hairpin turns on the access roads. It is the highest point in Massachusetts: a dizzying 3,491 feet.

This memorial to war dead atop Mt. Greylock is illuminated at night (except during bird migration times).

Standing at the edge of the summit, you can see the undulating shale and schist mountain formations from Massachusetts, New York, and Vermont. Ok, at 3,491 feet, I also may have been doing some undulating.

We shared this view looking northeast from Mt. Greylock with a few Appalachian Trail hikers; the summit becomes more crowded in the autumn.

It was a great relief to leave all the cliff-hanging moments after descending into the valley and towns, which have a 360-degree view of mountains that made me feel like I was in the bottom of a giant green Champagne flute. In other words, you can go from acrophobic to claustrophobic in 15 minutes flat.

Looking west at North Adams, Mass., from a summit.

With its red brick mill buildings and clapboard two- and three-decker homes, North Adams retains much of its charm from previous centuries. A few hundred years ago this river valley was no more isolated than other places because the waterways were the main way in and out. In the 19th century North Adams was a mill town just like countless others.

One company, the Arnold Print Works, supplied uniforms to the Union Army. It closed its in-town operations in 1942. The Sprague Electric Co. bought the facility and became a center for research and electronics until the mid-80s when it closed due to overseas competition. The site's latest reincarnation came in 1999, when the MASS Museum of Contemporary Art opened its doors.



Our primary destination was The Clark Art Institute in beautiful Williamstown, a few miles west of North Adams and home also to Williams College. This museum had just reopened last month after renovations to its original building and completion of a new wing designed by starchitect Tadeo Ando. The 140 acres of grounds encompass walking trails and a research center.

The back terrace and reflecting pool of the Clark's new wing.

The Clark is a small, eclectic, first-rate collection which won't overwhelm art fans. At $20, admission isn't cheap (and they don't offer popular discounts) but you can save a little by buying package deals. We particularly enjoyed the Homer and Remington pieces in its permanent collection. The on-loan exhibition of Chinese Bronze Age vessels was the most extensive I've ever seen!

The grounds at the Clark are a great place for reflection.

A word to you ladies (guys too): Regarding wardrobe, bring your game to the Clark or prepare to feel insecure. I barely passed muster with a trendy black-and-white striped top, white linen pants (Ok they were linen blend) and a killer custom necklace made by a talented friend. Look, if you need a stylist I may be available.



One of the rarest and most memorable experiences I had in the valley was The Quiet. True, it being summer there were few Williams College or Mass. College of the Liberal Arts students about at night. But also, no distant muted highway noise, sirens, car stereos, bottles breaking, gunshots, screams, etc. The steep green bowl cradling us seemed to smother all sounds man-made, filtering all but the birds, insects and murmuring mountains shooting the breeze with the breeze. (I thought I heard a twig snap, Mr. James Fenimore Cooper!) For those seeking inspiration, The Quiet may offer the cure. 



Our final stop en route home is famous for its inspiration: the Poet's Seat Tower in Greenfield, Mass. After hiking a mile uphill, I never made it up the fourth and final staircase spiraling to the tower roof. That's because as soon as I ascended to the third level, we heard a loud clap of thunder nearby. I urged the Rocket Scientist to go on up ahead of me and have a look-see, seeing as how he's taller than I am, but he declined. (Joking!)

The power of the tower: View of a green field in Greenfield, Mass., from Poet's Seat Tower.

I enthusiastically recommend each stop on our itinerary for an off-the-beaten-path jaunt practically in our backyard -- 115 miles and over 100 years away. We bought a hotel package with free tickets to MASS MoCA which we didn't use (we didn't want to OD on art), so we will be sure to return. Undulating notwithstanding.






Links and Sources:

http://www.mass.gov/eea/agencies/dcr/massparks/region-west/mohawk-trail-state-forest.html

http://www.nytimes.com/2012/10/07/travel/driving-the-mohawk-trail-in-massachusetts.html?_r=0


The following link sheds light on Mt. Greylock's name:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mount_Greylock


http://www.northadams-ma.gov/

clarkart.edu

http://www.nytimes.com/2014/07/11/arts/design/clark-art-institute-reopens-with-new-and-renovated-space.html?module=Search&mabReward=relbias%3Ar%2C{%221%22%3A%22RI%3A11%22}


The following state Department of Conservation and Recreation page has numerous links to all sorts of trail systems:

http://www.mass.gov/eea/agencies/dcr/massparks/region-west/mt-greylock-state-reservation-generic.html


http://massmoca.org/

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Poet%27s_Seat_Tower


Accessories for well-dressed tourists:

madebymargaretwoo.com


I was mildly disappointed that few establishments in Williamstown and North Adams accepted BerkShares, a local currency which offers a five-percent discount on the dollar. However as you travel south to Pittsfield, Lenox, Stockbridge, etc., places trading BerkShares are more plentiful.

http://www.berkshares.org/






















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Top 9 Possible Reasons Why I Haven't Blogged Recently

I've fielded many questions over the past few months about the dearth of posts here.

I'm not exactly sure why I haven't blogged lately, Dad, but here are some possibilities:


                               Top 9 Possible Reasons Why I Haven't Blogged Recently                  

9. Someone paid me to stop. 

8. I can't blog while I'm eating.

7. I can't blog while I'm in the pool trying to burn off all the weight I gained (see No. 8 above).

6. Brain slosh from my speed-of-light underwater turns.

5. If I told you then I'd have to kill you.

4. I, you know, didn't feel like it.

3. I went off my meds.

2.  I was working on something way more fabulous.


And The Number 1 Possible Reason Why I Haven't Blogged Recently:

1. T#is new tab1et d0esn't 1ike me.



Look, you got better reasons?:

                    Your List of Top 9 Reasons That Are Better Than My Original Ones

9. (Let's hear it)


















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How Cold Is It?

The New England landscape wears winter white, the latest layered look fashioned from a few recent storms ....

 But all anyone can talk about these days is the cold.

Brrrrrrrrrr! 

How cold is it?

The monitor which monitors the backyard reads 6.1 with the latest wind gust of 7.6 mph.

The thermometer on the west side of the house reads 3.9, but it's always 2 degrees warmer than the thermometer on the north side, which alas isn't functioning.

The south side gauge, which reads zero degrees, is unreliable as soon as it hits the sun, which will be soon.

So averaging these numbers out we get 3.3. We might subtract a few degrees for wind chill, since the backyard weather station thingie is spinning enthusiastically.

Iris (my phone) just chimed in with her report: 4 degrees F., sunny, with a wind chill of -12.

(Barometric pressure is 30.26 in.Hg.)

Ya think our focus on weather here is a teeeensy bit obsessive? Me neither.

Basically the majority of the country is experiencing this very same ultra-cold spell, the second in our short new year. This time we can blame an oscillating polar jet stream, according to one local meteorologist.

So how cold is it really?


It's so cold the GPS lady's teeth chatter when I start her up.

It's so cold the barks of the neighborhood dogs freeze in mid-glottis.

It's so cold the cardinals and robins called a truce in their turf war out back.

It's so cold that by the time I get dressed to go outside, I have to pee again.

It's so cold communication outdoors consists mostly of frozen looks, icy stares and chilly receptions.

It's so cold I can't fire up the fireplace. That's because a fire will keep the back zone just warm enough to keep the heat from coming on, which freezes the pipes at the opposite end of the house.

It's so cold I had to make a mask out of birch bark from the tree in the front lawn like Jim Sturgess and Ed Harris did in the movie 'The Way Back'  except they were escaping from a Siberian gulag and I was getting the mail.

It's so cold my timbers are shivering and my computer froze.

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On the 3D Printed Bandwagon

In answer to your many questions (Ok, two), we recently visited the MakerBot store in Boston.

We have a history with 3D printing since the Rocket Scientist was part of a 3D printing research project 15 years ago -- before he was a rocket scientist. So when I learned MakerBot was opening a retail store in Boston, naturally I wasted no time jumping into long johns and dragging my posse down Newbury St. to check it out.

Inside, several MakerBot Replicator Desktop 3D machines were set up scanning and printing small souvenirs, some of which demonstrated 3D's ability to use different compounds and make already-assembled parts. For example, one machine was printing a plastic, four-inch-high figurine with limbs articulated by ball-and-socket joints; another was making parts for an artificial hand.

MakerBot printer, left. MakerBot employee, right. Big plastic jaw with big sharp teeth, center.

Spools of colored filament, upper right. We bought some ornaments.

Yes, Virginia, there is a 3D printed Santa Claus who travels by 3D printed jet engine.

A close-up of 2014's Must-have hood ornament.

3D printed ornaments hanging in the store windows.

Looking down Newbury St.

One of the cleverest products offered by the company is its academy classes on designing, programming, and printing your very own original creations. It holds sessions for adults and kids. MakerBot will also print your standard STL files.

The store also features a special booth with a MakerBot 3D Desktop Digitizer Scanner and chair for you to sit in. For $25 it will scan you and produce a bust in your image. Alas, none of us were brave enough to try that out.




Whew! As I was writing these last graphs I had flashbacks to when I was a technical editor writing software and hardware brochures with words like 'features' and 'ability,' and how I was always dodging bulleted lists of what the product 'lets you do.'

Look, this post is not supposed to be a commercial for MakerBot. I'm just saying if you are visiting

                 * Boston

                 * New York, or

                 * Greenwich, Conn.,

I recommend MakerBot as a fun place to visit.



MakerBot has been running a holiday sale, discounting printers and scanners by as much as 25 percent. The sale ends today, but you may still be able to negotiate price.

In fact, a good opening tactic might be to say that you can't decide whether to buy a 3D printer or wait for a 4D printer. What, you weren't aware that 4D, where an item prints and then assembles itself, is the new 3D?? Get with it! It's 2014!

And I do too have a posse.



http://www.makerbot.com/

http://www.thingiverse.com/

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/3D_printing




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Top 9 Things I Am Thankful For in 2013

It's that time of year again: Time for the list of Top 9 Things I Am Thankful For in 2013.

Did I forget to send the memo? SOR-ry! Due to inflation, etc., the Top 10 List has been replaced by the Top 9 List. Really, it's new! and improved! more efficient! Concentrated! Guaranteed Less Sap Than the Leading Brand! It's copyrighted too! You will love it!



                                         Top 9 Things I Am Thankful For in 2013

9. I am thankful that no giant asteroid obliterated earth. Whew! We've had some close calls this year, right? I am also thankful I'm not an astronaut or even a mission specialist. The Rocket Scientist and I saw the movie 'Gravity' in 3D and it was extraordinary. Now I feel I should wake up grateful every morning that nothing earth shattering has occurred above us. Meanwhile, gonna cross Space Travel off my *uck It List.

8.  My shingles haven't recurred. They disappeared months ago, leaving only an asymmetrical mark on my ankle which can predict the weather like one of those fuzzy desktop calendar cards that turns pink or blue (or, in my case, faded pink or purple).

7.  The Rocket Scientist was able to reopen the three windows I had painted shut. Look, I'm beginning to understand the importance of an escape hatch.

6.  Everyone in the family remains employed (except me). You may wonder whether I'm thankful about being the exception. In fact, Comment removed due to low rating.

5.  One word: Stability. I'm glad we saw some positive stability on some fronts this year. For example, everything inside my mouth has stayed stable. No emergency dental needs, bad sore throats, foot stuck, etc. Also, all our vehicles remain intact, and nothing on the property fell down.

4.  My health insurance will reimburse up to 50% annually for a dental implant starting in 2014. You may recall that some time ago I lost Tooth No. 18; I am now ready to proceed with a replacement. I am also making progress persuading my dentist to run a special on implants.

3.  I got my car back! The only downside is that it no longer serves as a handy excuse: 'I can't, I don't have a car. SOR-ry!'

2.  My hair stylist wasn't fired. He was a no-show a few months ago which was worrisome because the last time he changed salons it took me six months and two $20 bribes to find out where he landed.


And the No. 1 thing I am thankful for this year is:

1.  My dryer stopped making terrible shrieking sounds.  I bet we were only a few loads away from being stormed by PETA. Alas the repairman said it was beyond help -- but it's still drying our clothes, and that's what counts.





Meanwhile, I'm counting on all of you to discover what really counts this holiday season blah blah blah I promised no sap, Ok?


















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Draft Resume

                                                             Patricia Ringer Gasdaska


Employment Objective: Editorial work making fun of news or other things (but never you)


Skills Summary

Decades of writing, editing, paginating, proofreading, and showing up almost on time. Rare newsroom primary math skills; experienced birthday cake baker.


Experience (most recent first)

Blogger, ‘It’s all (c)opyrighted’ --  The Rocket Scientist and I trying to keep all systems nominal as we endeavor to launch our college-age kids. prgasdaska.blogspot.com, where you'll find plenty more bad puns. 


Editor, The Chronicle Independent Digest Nation ('The Chronic Indigestion')
   
    Reported, photographed, edited, typeset, proofread, sold ads and subscriptions, paginated, printed, and delivered county daily newspaper
    Reorganized photo archives of county residents
    Set up side extortion business involving photos of county residents
    Organized after-hours 'hot tub' parties in sink of printers bathroom

  
Substitute Teacher, Shrewsbury, Mass.

     Signed record number of hall passes
     Created food fight betting pool
     Promoted to Head Lifeguard of betting pool


Project Publications Editor, The Robin U. Nicholas Group

     Successfully dressed for success
     Secured reference for future jobs
     
   

Awards

Voted Self-Server of the Month at local gas station.


Education

B.S., The Pennsylvania State University, State College, Pa. Senior thesis titled, 'Rubrics, Matrices, or Spreadsheets: How to Choose a Title for Your Senior Thesis.''

M.S., Simmons College, Boston, Mass. Thesis: Original one-act play titled, 'If All My Friends Are Weird Then What Does That Make Me?'



References

References and samples will be furnished for a handling fee.







--- Look, this is only a draft of highlights. Ideally I'd like to incorporate my volunteering experience, which includes participation in many home rocket science experiments and sponsor of Cedilla Day at the local middle school.


Feedback welcome -- for a fee.















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10 Reasons Why I Qualify As a Hunger Games Super-fan

I am a fan of 'The Hunger Games' trilogy by Suzanne Collins, my favorite Young Adult series since Harry Potter.

So naturally when I learned about a Hunger Games contest, I was all over it like a (SPOILER ALERT!) tracker-jacker on a tribute.

Contestants must submit 10 reasons why they are a Hunger Games super-fan. Look, the fine print reveals this is a sweepstakes, meaning submissions are entered into a random drawing for the Grand Prize of $1,000 and Autographed Copies of the Series Blah Blah Blah. So the actual content is actually irrelevant, extraneous.

May the odds be ever in my favor!

Look, I wouldn't decline a check for a thousand bucks. However for me the real jackpot lies in blog fodder potential, and this contest scores high on the fodder-o-meter.

10 Reasons Why I Qualify As a Hunger Games Super-fan

10. I am hungry, I like to play games, and I think fans are super.

 9. Katniss is my favorite aquatic tuber vegetable, and Peeta is my favorite bread (except I spell it p-i-t-a).

 8.  I did a high school project on that Gregory Peck movie 'To Kill A Mockingjay.'

 7.  I think Liam Hemsworth is super way hotter than Robert Pattinson.

 6. I like how Woody Harrelson was a bartender in the Tv show 'Cheers' and now (SPOILER ALERT!) he's an alcoholic in 'The Hunger Games' movie.

 5. I've re-read the first book about a hundred times trying to figure out (SPOILER ALERT!) how Clove knew that Katniss and Rhue were allies.

4. I prepared, recreated, and compiled a cookbook of all of the food shown in the train dining car movie scene. Then I did the same for arena food.

3. To understand some of what victors went through I purposely infected myself with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.

2. Sometimes I've felt like volunteering my own kids for the Games.



And the No. 1 Reason Why I Qualify As a Hunger Games Superfan:

1. It's easier to cook some squirrels and tubers than a batch of rainbow crystal meth, which is what 'Breaking Bad' super-fans are doing.


Look, cut me a break here. I bet David Letterman has a writer apiece dedicated to each number of his top 10 lists, whereas I have to create all 10 myself.

Anyway, if devoting an entire blog post to 'The Hunger Games' doesn't qualify me for super-fan status then I dunno what else I gotta do.


... Anyway, sorry but I'm not providing a link to the contest. May the odds be ever in my favor. In fact, the link seems to have disappeared, so don't even bother searching. The contest is probably closed by now anyway. So forget I ever mentioned it. I'm actually thinking of deleting this entire post. Maybe. Later.





















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The Bounty

 If I look through that peephole, will I see a family of bugs inside, just getting ready to sit down to breakfast in their newly renovated, open-concept condomato?

Look, I have been waiting for months for Big Boy and Better Boy to ripen. Insert visions of fresh salsa, salads, BLTs, bruscetta, sauce, bisque, focaccia, ratatouille, relish, etc. etc. I had plans for every tomato a week before I picked it. But every one I picked offered an unappetizing surprise on its unseen side:

Last week I finally spotted the culprit: A big, fat, green caterpillar. I should have destroyed it immediately, but instead I hesitated. Look, it was as big as my index finger and I was unarmed. That was three tomatoes ago so to extrapolate it's probably camouflaged as a cucumber by now.

So I've put a bounty on its head -- $10 and a bagful of cucumbers for anyone who can find and destroy that low-down varmint who dares to mess with my Boys.

Our suspect is green, with a fake eye at one end so beware because at first you don't know whether it's coming or going.

Good luck!




UPDATE, two days later:

I knew once I mentioned the word 'bounty' that Husband and No. 2 Son would be on board. Armed with cutlasses (Ok they were chopsticks), the two of them managed to locate, subdue, and incarcerate the alleged perpetrator. They said suspect died trying to escape during interrogation. There were no other witnesses.

Suspect's morgue shot

Look, Husband and Son were only trying to learn whether suspect had cohorts or was operating alone. They also claim suspect was already under attack by unidentified white thingies, which preliminary intel indicates are members of a rival gang operating off its home turf.

Whew!



Anyway, I'm just hoping Big Boy and Better Boy can fend off further attack. I'm sick of feeling like a loser buying tomatoes at the supermarket in September.



Gotta go cough up 10 bucks ..... Two fives ... cough cough ....















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The Butt of Roof Jokes

While it is true that we need a new roof, my coming down with a case of shingles hardly qualifies as part of the solution.

I can now testify that shingles are literally a pain in the butt, because that's where I have them:

Somewhere on my butt. Do you know how hard it is to take a pic of your own butt? One that's in focus, I mean??

Shiver me shingles!

Evidently the virus decided to follow my sciatic nerve, hence the embarrassing location. And no, you cannot catch the shingles by reading a blog about them. Which alas does not eliminate the voice in my head shouting 'Unclean! Unclean!' like someone from the movie 'Ben Hur.' Or was it 'A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum'?

Anyway, if you suddenly find yourself scratching all over, remember that the shingles usually attack only one side of the body.

Look, I wasn't expecting to contract shingles even though I had chicken pox as a child. Even though I am reaching that milestone age when the virus often decides to stage a comeback. Even though my stress levels may have been elevated. (Even though I read somewhere that shingles are often associated with stress, but evidence of a connection is not conclusive.)

Look, I have muted many a Tv commercial hawking some anti-shingle product, which is why I expected the pain to make me eligible for some emergency pain-killer meds. Unfortunately though, my pain level isn't high enough to qualify for the really good stuff. Ok, this one shingle occasionally feels like a nickel-sized drop of acid eating its way through my skin, but it always backs off before I can even find the doctor's phone number on call log.

So I am taking a course of a Famvir generic which has the unusual, unfortunate side effect of making me crack bad jokes about the virus. In fact, most of my discomfort derives from the itching, which can be treated with oatmeal preparations and Claritin.

So here I am itchin' 'n' bitchin' my way through this totally new but unwelcome experience. Fortunately after a few days of meds, some of the welts have faded even though the pain and itching emanating from them mysteriously have not.

I have also discovered one positive: The shingle on my ankle can predict the weather -- like those fuzzy cards that turned from pink to blue. In this case, purple means rain, while a pale pink and scabby appearance predicts fair and dry weather.

Your experience may differ.

Bottom line, I'll get through this. It's possible my immune system is giving me a warning, so I vow to aim for healthy choices from now on.

You should too.  Also -- check out the vaccine.


Time for more meds  ...  I should also go close the windows -- ankle shingle is purple.



http://www.mayoclinic.org/shingles/















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List of Top 10 Uses for a Bumper Crop of Cucumbers

Find the hidden cucumbers.

Look, I like zucchini, but evidently I am the only gardener on the East Coast who can't grow it.

Therefore, we planted a variety of cucumber called Dasher last year, and boy did it live up to its name. Dasher ran circles around the chicken-wire fencing of our modest raised beds, producing tasty, good-looking vegetables long into October.

So naturally we bought two this year, labeled Dasher 2  -- Child of Dasher, I guess. Dasher sure would be proud of its progeny.

... Imagine the crisp, crunchy, hydrating, flavorful cucumber, multiplied by hundreds. You can marinate them, freeze them, pickle and can them, make relish and sandwiches, and carve them into little containers. You can peel them, slice them, make masks and water, turn them into wine, dip them in chocolate, and put them on a stick. The only limitation of cucumis sativus is you can't really cook 'em  (Schalgurkin notwithstanding).

Word Problem of the Day: If Pat's garden measures 6x8 ft., and two Dasher 2 vines have circled the perimeter once producing one cucumber every 10 inches, then how is Pat gonna get out of all of the above-mentioned, time-and-labor-intensive ways of preparing cucumbers?

Extra Credit: Discuss whether last year's policy of forbidding guests to leave the house without a cucumber violated constitutional rights.

Look, I'm tired of thinking up excuses for why I'm too lazy to slice and dice all day long. So the solution to the above Word Problem is: By coming up with some alternative uses.

So here's the Top 10 List of Alternative Uses for Excess Cucumbers (SPOILER ALERT: If you are looking for penis jokes, forget it! This blog is all about challenges!):


                               Top 10 List of Alternative Uses for Excess Cucumbers


     10.  Gherkin size makes stylish edible earrings, necklaces, and bracelets.

      9.   Contest: How many cucumbers in this truckload? Grand Prize: A truckload of cucumbers.

      8.   Possom bait. Now that's something you can cook.

      7.   Bob for cucumbers at Labor Day party.

      6.   'Project Runway' challenge fodder.
       
      5.  Make them into lamps.

      4.  This is harder than I expected, gotta waste one number.

      3.  Must-have personal security weapon for dieting women.

      2.  New game sensation: 'Cool As a Cucumber or In a Pickle?' Rules are similar to the card game Hearts, and the player with the most cucumbers loses. Also, the rules clearly state I personally am exempt from losing.


And The No. 1 Alternative Use for Excess Cucumbers:


      1.  New global monetary standard: CukeCoin. DasherDollars too!




Anyone who wants to add to this list wins a free cucumber!



http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cucumber

http://www.bonappetit.com/recipes/2011/07/mango-cucumber-wine-cooler

http://allrecipes.com/recipe/cucumber-nut-bread/













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Deconstructing the Statue of Liberty (Not Literally)

After being closed due to Hurricane Sandy, the Statue of Liberty reopens today.

Some years ago Husband was flying into New York from the West coast. Seated nearby was a young businesswoman traveling with some colleagues. As the plane neared Manhattan, the woman, having never visited NYC, became excited as her more seasoned traveling companions pointed out famous landmarks below. At one point, looking down, she exclaimed, 'Omigod, is that the Statue of Liberty?' One colleague, who had tired of the chatter, replied, 'Well, is it a big green lady with a torch?'

... 'Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free ....' 

Emma Lazarus' 1883 poem 'The New Colossus' was written for a statue fundraiser, while Lady Liberty was inspired by her creator's desire to cement Franco-American relations while revitalizing a sense of liberty in France itself. That's part of what I learned about the birth of this icon from watching Ken Burns' documentary on the Statue of Liberty.

According to the documentary and 'Wickedpedia,' she is modeled after Libertas, Roman goddess of liberty. A remark by French law professor and politician Edouard Rene de Laboulaye in 1865 may have been the inspiration for sculptor Frederic Bartholdi to start this grand-scale project, which cost $250,000 and took almost 20 years to complete.


Although it's been about 50 years since I last visited Liberty Island and the old girl, I have had the pleasure of viewing her from New York and New Jersey many times since. She rivets my attention at every opportunity.

To me she means more than a fancy ideal, since when I deconstruct her I find so much to admire.

First of all, she gazes out at the Atlantic Ocean (facing southeast). I like to look out at the ocean too because it's a good way to de-stress. However if you are a lifeguard you know how hard this is after about 15 minutes. So I give her lots of credit for being so vigilant.

Also, she's wearing a hat. I can relate to that. Ok, it's supposed to be a crown, with seven spikey rays  representing the seven seas and continents blah blah blah. To me, it looks like a visor, which must come in handy when the sun comes up. I also like how comfortably and casually she is dressed. Classic design fashion, right? So she's well dressed and practical too.

Furthermore, she is green, a lovely shade thanks to her oxidized copper skin: Statue of Liberty Green. Look, I bet the Wicked Witch of the West would trade a pair of used ruby slippers for a complexion like Lady Liberty's.

Her torch symbolizes enlightenment; her tablet is inscribed with the date America declared independence. Together they represent something familiar to all females, especially mothers: We always have our hands full too. I hereby congratulate Bartholdi for his insight and choice of torch and tablet instead of purse and water bottle.

Finally, she's holding that torch high above her head. The big green lady with the torch never gets tired. She never puts that beacon down (at least not when anyone is looking). Just like a woman and a mom, right?

So thank you, Frederic Bartholdi, for your precious metal gift to Americans and our great country, and for a role model we can relate to. Thank you, Emma Lazarus, for casting Lady Liberty as a 'Mother of Exiles.'

But most significantly, may she forever remain a gigantic reminder that we must always be watchful of our rights, we must never weary of democracy, and we can never lay down the burden of safeguarding them.





Happy Independence Day, America! Be Safe! 




The National Parks Service FAQs about the Statue of Liberty:
http://www.nps.gov/stli/faqs.htm

'Wikedpedia' link:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Statue_of_liberty

Ken Burns' documentary:
http://www.pbs.org/kenburns/statueofliberty/

Emma Lazarus bio and poem 'The New Colossus':
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emma_Lazarus


http://news.yahoo.com/lady-liberty-reopens-july-4--but-ellis-island--damaged-by-sandy--remains-dark-102721667.html

Photo from geekphilosopher.com. Thanks, geekphils!







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BREAKING NEWS: 'As I Become Digital' Update

After using my new smart phone for almost two months, I just discovered something amazing. No, not the free bird call apps; something even grander, even sweeter to the ears: My phone can talk! My smart phone is not dumb, and I am dumbfounded (and that smarts).

If this is a Helen Keller moment, I'm not sure whether I am Patty Duke or Anne Bancroft, although personally I'd rather be Anne Bancroft.

Or maybe it was more like an Alexander Graham Bell moment -- 'Mr. Watson -- Come here -- I want to see you' -- in which case I would either be Watson or Alexander The Great-great-great-grandfather of smartphones. I dunno, though for some reason I still wanna be Anne Bancroft .....

Anyway, I have christened my phone Iris (Siri backwards). I feel like a proud parent. Iris's first words were: 'The San Antonio Spurs play the Miami Heat at 8 p.m. tonight.' I am impressed that her first utterance was a grammatically correct declarative sentence. Perhaps it's unfair to compare Iris to No. 1 Son, whose first word I believe was 'Noooooooooo!'

Anyway, like any parent, I am already concerned that my phone might not be as developmentally advanced as yours. Already I am noticing that Iris' vocabulary and cognitive skills are not quite on par with Siri's.

I don't want to play favorites, I just want Iris to reach her full potential while nailing every random question I ask the first time I ask it.

In fact, I'm looking forward to some one-on-one vocabulary and listening comprehension sessions with Iris, which will give me plenty of opportunities to yell, 'Quiet on the set!' which is serious fun. Also reading to her, coaxing some more words out of her, discouraging backtalk etc. Gotta get'em while their young. While Siri is asleep.


http://prgasdaska.blogspot.com/2013/04/as-i-become-digital.html













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'Dad, Whacha Doin'?'

Even at 85, my Dad is hard to keep up with. On a recent visit, he helped replace a car window motor, clean out the car, install a towel rack, and generally keep things tidy. This is in addition to two walks a day which doesn't include the two-hour visit to the Higgins Armory Museum.

When he's at home I know Dad's always down on his hands and knee replacements whenever the dishwasher or fridge or whatever goes on the fritz. Trust him also to be lending a helping hand to the groups and organizations he belongs to.

I'm not surprised, considering one weekend ritual of my childhood:

-- 'Dad, whacha doin'?'

-- 'I'm painting the trim.'

-- 'Dad, whacha doin'?'

-- 'I'm cleaning the lawn mower blade.'

-- 'Dad, whacha doin'?'

-- 'I'm replacing this window.'

-- 'Dad, whacha doin'?'

-- 'I'm cutting back this tree.'

-- 'Dad, whacha doin'?'

-- 'I'm sanding this chair.'

-- 'Dad, whacha doin'?'

-- 'I'm changing the oil.'



Sometimes, like when the chore involved paint, I volunteered to help, and he'd say, Ok. Given my short attention span I probably wandered off after about 10 minutes. I remember thinking how being a Dad didn't seem like much fun.

I can appreciate now how lucky I was to have my Dad. Of course I took it for granted! I'm not sure how much fun it was for him to have a young daughter pestering him with stupid questions while he was trying to measure a two-by-four or clamp a chair leg on a vise grip.

But looking at his answers to my questions above, I realize I've painted, sanded, and changed the oil over the years -- everything except replacing windows. And it's not so bad! I guess those 10 minutes underfoot added up over the years into something useful -- and memorable.

Thanks, Dad!

Happy Father's Day, Dad! Whacha Doin'?




http://higgins.org/

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14,440 and Counting ....

Ok, so this pic has absolutely nothing to do with the post. I just wanted to add some color and show off our rhododendrons.

It's possible that in 40 years of cooking, I've gotten a teeeensy bit bored.

Last I checked, I have a collection of electric cooking appliances which rivals the Small Appliances aisle at Target. It includes an egg cooker, rice cooker, fryer, wok, cupcake maker, bread machine, crock pot, coffee maker, coffee grinder, toaster oven, microwave oven, food processor, electric mixer, stick mixer, blender, waffle iron, cookie press, apple peeler-corer-slicer, and juicer. That's not even counting random units (yogurt maker, popcorn popper, peanut butter maker) which are buried and half-forgotten in the basement, their missing and broken parts appropriately scattered who knows where.

Look, if I've been cooking for 360 days/year for 40 years that means I've prepared meals 14,400 days. And counting. Look, a saute pan and oven get old after 7,201 times.

Look, I don't know what I'd do without my egg cooker, rice cooker, fryer, wok, cupcake maker, bread machine, crock pot, coffee maker, coffee grinder, toaster oven, microwave oven, food processor, electric mixer, stick mixer, blender, waffle iron, cookie press, apple peeler-corer-slicer, and juicer. Maybe lose some weight, I dunno. I use them all the time (well maybe not the waffle maker and apple peeler-corer-slicer. Or cookie press.)

Look, it's just more fun to use an egg cooker, rice cooker, fryer, wok, cupcake maker, bread machine, crock pot, coffee maker, coffee grinder, toaster oven, microwave oven, food processor, electric mixer, stick mixer, blender, waffle iron, cookie press, apple peeler-corer-slicer, and juicer than stand at the stove. 

I would love a panini maker, but where would I put it? I guess I could make room in the Hoosier in the dining room/plant room/project room/kids' closet. For now I use the old-fashioned method: a griddle, paper plate, and tea kettle filled with water.

So how many kitchen appliances do you have? Which is your favorite, the one you couldn't live without?

After the essential coffee maker, my second favorite is the bread machine. The way I see it, if the egg cooker, rice cooker, fryer, wok, cupcake maker, crock pot, coffee maker, coffee grinder, toaster oven, microwave oven, food processor, electric mixer, stick mixer, blender, waffle iron, cookie press, apple peeler-corer-slicer, and juicer all fail me, at least we have good bread, and good bread rescues any meal. Right?

Rounding out the Top 3 is the cupcake maker. Look, you never know when you'll need to whip up a dozen corn muffins or cupcakes in 15 minutes.

Of course this is all made possible by our local electric company which is so reliable we don't even have a generator.

Maybe I should stop by its office with some cupcakes. Also some deviled eggs, rice, stir fry, soup, coffee, toast, waffles, cookies, apple pie, and freshly squeezed orange juice.

Yeah.













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Pomp & Circumstance: The Dark Side

Having attended a few commencements in my lifetime, I've learned they are each memorable in different, sometimes quirky ways.

One year William Hewlett, co-founder of Hewlitt-Packard and commencement speaker, was practically booed off the stage thanks to a steady downpour that drenched the open-air audience while the poobahs sat comfortable and dry under a canopied platform.

Another year Ted Koppel was almost smacked upside the head by an errant giant beach ball bouncing atop the new graduates.

In a pre-ceremony glitch yesterday, the escalator where the graduates were lining up malfunctioned and blew out the lights. The graduates had to queue up on every other step to prevent an escalator overload. I am trying not to think of this as a metaphor for these grads' career futures since the escalator was going down.

This latest commencement also lived up to previous ones due to the presence of Darth Vader three rows in front of us.

Darth Vader, center; unidentified cameraman on right -- notice the small black-and-white monitor under his left heel, which gave me a partial view of the proceedings. Also, that might be Obi Wan Kenobi in the center foreground, but I'm not sure since he wasn't wearing his hood. Do you see the chancellor speaking at the podium and the big screen projection of him? Me neither.                                                                                                                                                                               

Look, I dunno if Darth Vader had a relative who was graduating or what. Personally I think he'd make a great commencement speaker. Or they could have awarded him an honorary degree. At least if he'd been up on that stage I would have been able to see better.

About 10 minutes into the keynote address I began hoping that Mr. Vader would activate his signature remote death-grip choke-hold on the speaker, who seemed more intent on promoting his book about wire-tapping Whitey Bulger than actually relating to the graduates. That certainly would have spiced things up, right?

Later on I started fantasizing about Mr. Vader unsheathing his light saber and icing the audience members standing in front of me who were obstructing my view even more. Alas I was too intimidated to approach the evil Jedi Knight and ask for a favor. Look, he's really big.

Otherwise, the choir sounded great, the president kept things moving, nobody got tasered or had a medical emergency, and none of the grads flashed the crowd. (What I heard.)

Look, I'm not complaining, we have video. It was truly a proud moment when I finally caught a glimpse of our graduate's collar and heard his name mispronounced by the dean as he received his diploma.  

Look, the important thing is we've got some newly-minted college graduates eager to work.

Upon reflection, maybe I should have asked Darth if he was hiring ....... Nah ... he's really really big ....





http://www.amazon.com/Most-Wanted-Murderous-Protected-ebook/dp/B005HF2WNG








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