10 Reasons Why I Qualify As a Hunger Games Super-fan

I am a fan of 'The Hunger Games' trilogy by Suzanne Collins, my favorite Young Adult series since Harry Potter.

So naturally when I learned about a Hunger Games contest, I was all over it like a (SPOILER ALERT!) tracker-jacker on a tribute.

Contestants must submit 10 reasons why they are a Hunger Games super-fan. Look, the fine print reveals this is a sweepstakes, meaning submissions are entered into a random drawing for the Grand Prize of $1,000 and Autographed Copies of the Series Blah Blah Blah. So the actual content is actually irrelevant, extraneous.

May the odds be ever in my favor!

Look, I wouldn't decline a check for a thousand bucks. However for me the real jackpot lies in blog fodder potential, and this contest scores high on the fodder-o-meter.

10 Reasons Why I Qualify As a Hunger Games Super-fan

10. I am hungry, I like to play games, and I think fans are super.

 9. Katniss is my favorite aquatic tuber vegetable, and Peeta is my favorite bread (except I spell it p-i-t-a).

 8.  I did a high school project on that Gregory Peck movie 'To Kill A Mockingjay.'

 7.  I think Liam Hemsworth is super way hotter than Robert Pattinson.

 6. I like how Woody Harrelson was a bartender in the Tv show 'Cheers' and now (SPOILER ALERT!) he's an alcoholic in 'The Hunger Games' movie.

 5. I've re-read the first book about a hundred times trying to figure out (SPOILER ALERT!) how Clove knew that Katniss and Rhue were allies.

4. I prepared, recreated, and compiled a cookbook of all of the food shown in the train dining car movie scene. Then I did the same for arena food.

3. To understand some of what victors went through I purposely infected myself with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.

2. Sometimes I've felt like volunteering my own kids for the Games.



And the No. 1 Reason Why I Qualify As a Hunger Games Superfan:

1. It's easier to cook some squirrels and tubers than a batch of rainbow crystal meth, which is what 'Breaking Bad' super-fans are doing.


Look, cut me a break here. I bet David Letterman has a writer apiece dedicated to each number of his top 10 lists, whereas I have to create all 10 myself.

Anyway, if devoting an entire blog post to 'The Hunger Games' doesn't qualify me for super-fan status then I dunno what else I gotta do.


... Anyway, sorry but I'm not providing a link to the contest. May the odds be ever in my favor. In fact, the link seems to have disappeared, so don't even bother searching. The contest is probably closed by now anyway. So forget I ever mentioned it. I'm actually thinking of deleting this entire post. Maybe. Later.





















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The Bounty

 If I look through that peephole, will I see a family of bugs inside, just getting ready to sit down to breakfast in their newly renovated, open-concept condomato?

Look, I have been waiting for months for Big Boy and Better Boy to ripen. Insert visions of fresh salsa, salads, BLTs, bruscetta, sauce, bisque, focaccia, ratatouille, relish, etc. etc. I had plans for every tomato a week before I picked it. But every one I picked offered an unappetizing surprise on its unseen side:

Last week I finally spotted the culprit: A big, fat, green caterpillar. I should have destroyed it immediately, but instead I hesitated. Look, it was as big as my index finger and I was unarmed. That was three tomatoes ago so to extrapolate it's probably camouflaged as a cucumber by now.

So I've put a bounty on its head -- $10 and a bagful of cucumbers for anyone who can find and destroy that low-down varmint who dares to mess with my Boys.

Our suspect is green, with a fake eye at one end so beware because at first you don't know whether it's coming or going.

Good luck!




UPDATE, two days later:

I knew once I mentioned the word 'bounty' that Husband and No. 2 Son would be on board. Armed with cutlasses (Ok they were chopsticks), the two of them managed to locate, subdue, and incarcerate the alleged perpetrator. They said suspect died trying to escape during interrogation. There were no other witnesses.

Suspect's morgue shot

Look, Husband and Son were only trying to learn whether suspect had cohorts or was operating alone. They also claim suspect was already under attack by unidentified white thingies, which preliminary intel indicates are members of a rival gang operating off its home turf.

Whew!



Anyway, I'm just hoping Big Boy and Better Boy can fend off further attack. I'm sick of feeling like a loser buying tomatoes at the supermarket in September.



Gotta go cough up 10 bucks ..... Two fives ... cough cough ....















Pass it along and remember, It's all (c)opyrighted(c)2013(c)(c)