List of Top 10 Uses for a Bumper Crop of Cucumbers

Find the hidden cucumbers.

Look, I like zucchini, but evidently I am the only gardener on the East Coast who can't grow it.

Therefore, we planted a variety of cucumber called Dasher last year, and boy did it live up to its name. Dasher ran circles around the chicken-wire fencing of our modest raised beds, producing tasty, good-looking vegetables long into October.

So naturally we bought two this year, labeled Dasher 2  -- Child of Dasher, I guess. Dasher sure would be proud of its progeny.

... Imagine the crisp, crunchy, hydrating, flavorful cucumber, multiplied by hundreds. You can marinate them, freeze them, pickle and can them, make relish and sandwiches, and carve them into little containers. You can peel them, slice them, make masks and water, turn them into wine, dip them in chocolate, and put them on a stick. The only limitation of cucumis sativus is you can't really cook 'em  (Schalgurkin notwithstanding).

Word Problem of the Day: If Pat's garden measures 6x8 ft., and two Dasher 2 vines have circled the perimeter once producing one cucumber every 10 inches, then how is Pat gonna get out of all of the above-mentioned, time-and-labor-intensive ways of preparing cucumbers?

Extra Credit: Discuss whether last year's policy of forbidding guests to leave the house without a cucumber violated constitutional rights.

Look, I'm tired of thinking up excuses for why I'm too lazy to slice and dice all day long. So the solution to the above Word Problem is: By coming up with some alternative uses.

So here's the Top 10 List of Alternative Uses for Excess Cucumbers (SPOILER ALERT: If you are looking for penis jokes, forget it! This blog is all about challenges!):


                               Top 10 List of Alternative Uses for Excess Cucumbers


     10.  Gherkin size makes stylish edible earrings, necklaces, and bracelets.

      9.   Contest: How many cucumbers in this truckload? Grand Prize: A truckload of cucumbers.

      8.   Possom bait. Now that's something you can cook.

      7.   Bob for cucumbers at Labor Day party.

      6.   'Project Runway' challenge fodder.
       
      5.  Make them into lamps.

      4.  This is harder than I expected, gotta waste one number.

      3.  Must-have personal security weapon for dieting women.

      2.  New game sensation: 'Cool As a Cucumber or In a Pickle?' Rules are similar to the card game Hearts, and the player with the most cucumbers loses. Also, the rules clearly state I personally am exempt from losing.


And The No. 1 Alternative Use for Excess Cucumbers:


      1.  New global monetary standard: CukeCoin. DasherDollars too!




Anyone who wants to add to this list wins a free cucumber!



http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cucumber

http://www.bonappetit.com/recipes/2011/07/mango-cucumber-wine-cooler

http://allrecipes.com/recipe/cucumber-nut-bread/













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Deconstructing the Statue of Liberty (Not Literally)

After being closed due to Hurricane Sandy, the Statue of Liberty reopens today.

Some years ago Husband was flying into New York from the West coast. Seated nearby was a young businesswoman traveling with some colleagues. As the plane neared Manhattan, the woman, having never visited NYC, became excited as her more seasoned traveling companions pointed out famous landmarks below. At one point, looking down, she exclaimed, 'Omigod, is that the Statue of Liberty?' One colleague, who had tired of the chatter, replied, 'Well, is it a big green lady with a torch?'

... 'Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free ....' 

Emma Lazarus' 1883 poem 'The New Colossus' was written for a statue fundraiser, while Lady Liberty was inspired by her creator's desire to cement Franco-American relations while revitalizing a sense of liberty in France itself. That's part of what I learned about the birth of this icon from watching Ken Burns' documentary on the Statue of Liberty.

According to the documentary and 'Wickedpedia,' she is modeled after Libertas, Roman goddess of liberty. A remark by French law professor and politician Edouard Rene de Laboulaye in 1865 may have been the inspiration for sculptor Frederic Bartholdi to start this grand-scale project, which cost $250,000 and took almost 20 years to complete.


Although it's been about 50 years since I last visited Liberty Island and the old girl, I have had the pleasure of viewing her from New York and New Jersey many times since. She rivets my attention at every opportunity.

To me she means more than a fancy ideal, since when I deconstruct her I find so much to admire.

First of all, she gazes out at the Atlantic Ocean (facing southeast). I like to look out at the ocean too because it's a good way to de-stress. However if you are a lifeguard you know how hard this is after about 15 minutes. So I give her lots of credit for being so vigilant.

Also, she's wearing a hat. I can relate to that. Ok, it's supposed to be a crown, with seven spikey rays  representing the seven seas and continents blah blah blah. To me, it looks like a visor, which must come in handy when the sun comes up. I also like how comfortably and casually she is dressed. Classic design fashion, right? So she's well dressed and practical too.

Furthermore, she is green, a lovely shade thanks to her oxidized copper skin: Statue of Liberty Green. Look, I bet the Wicked Witch of the West would trade a pair of used ruby slippers for a complexion like Lady Liberty's.

Her torch symbolizes enlightenment; her tablet is inscribed with the date America declared independence. Together they represent something familiar to all females, especially mothers: We always have our hands full too. I hereby congratulate Bartholdi for his insight and choice of torch and tablet instead of purse and water bottle.

Finally, she's holding that torch high above her head. The big green lady with the torch never gets tired. She never puts that beacon down (at least not when anyone is looking). Just like a woman and a mom, right?

So thank you, Frederic Bartholdi, for your precious metal gift to Americans and our great country, and for a role model we can relate to. Thank you, Emma Lazarus, for casting Lady Liberty as a 'Mother of Exiles.'

But most significantly, may she forever remain a gigantic reminder that we must always be watchful of our rights, we must never weary of democracy, and we can never lay down the burden of safeguarding them.





Happy Independence Day, America! Be Safe! 




The National Parks Service FAQs about the Statue of Liberty:
http://www.nps.gov/stli/faqs.htm

'Wikedpedia' link:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Statue_of_liberty

Ken Burns' documentary:
http://www.pbs.org/kenburns/statueofliberty/

Emma Lazarus bio and poem 'The New Colossus':
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emma_Lazarus


http://news.yahoo.com/lady-liberty-reopens-july-4--but-ellis-island--damaged-by-sandy--remains-dark-102721667.html

Photo from geekphilosopher.com. Thanks, geekphils!







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