It's that time of year again: Time for the list of Top 9 Things I Am Thankful For in 2013.
Did I forget to send the memo? SOR-ry! Due to inflation, etc., the Top 10 List has been replaced by the Top 9 List. Really, it's new! and improved! more efficient! Concentrated! Guaranteed Less Sap Than the Leading Brand! It's copyrighted too! You will love it!
Top 9 Things I Am Thankful For in 2013
9. I am thankful that no giant asteroid obliterated earth. Whew! We've had some close calls this year, right? I am also thankful I'm not an astronaut or even a mission specialist. The Rocket Scientist and I saw the movie 'Gravity' in 3D and it was extraordinary. Now I feel I should wake up grateful every morning that nothing earth shattering has occurred above us. Meanwhile, gonna cross Space Travel off my *uck It List.
8. My shingles haven't recurred. They disappeared months ago, leaving
only an asymmetrical mark on my ankle which can predict the weather like
one of those fuzzy desktop calendar cards that turns pink or blue (or,
in my case, faded pink or purple).
7. The Rocket Scientist was able to reopen the three windows I had painted shut. Look, I'm beginning to understand the importance of an escape hatch.
6. Everyone in the family remains employed (except me). You may wonder whether I'm thankful about being the exception. In fact, Comment removed due to low rating.
5. One word: Stability. I'm glad we saw some positive stability on some fronts this year. For example, everything inside my mouth has stayed stable. No emergency dental needs, bad sore throats, foot stuck, etc. Also, all our vehicles remain intact, and nothing on the property fell down.
4. My health insurance will reimburse up to 50% annually for a dental implant starting in 2014. You may recall that some time ago I lost Tooth No. 18; I am now ready to proceed with a replacement. I am also making progress persuading my dentist to run a special on implants.
3. I got my car back! The only downside is that it no longer serves as a handy excuse: 'I can't, I don't have a car. SOR-ry!'
2. My hair stylist wasn't fired. He was a no-show a few months ago which was worrisome because the last time he changed salons it took me six months and two $20 bribes to find out where he landed.
And the No. 1 thing I am thankful for this year is:
1. My dryer stopped making terrible shrieking sounds. I bet we were only a few loads away from being stormed by PETA. Alas the repairman said it was beyond help -- but it's still drying our clothes, and that's what counts.
Meanwhile, I'm counting on all of you to discover what really counts this holiday season blah blah blah I promised no sap, Ok?
Pass it along and remember, It's all (c)opyrighted (c)2013(c)(c)
