One year William Hewlett, co-founder of Hewlitt-Packard and commencement speaker, was practically booed off the stage thanks to a steady downpour that drenched the open-air audience while the poobahs sat comfortable and dry under a canopied platform.
Another year Ted Koppel was almost smacked upside the head by an errant giant beach ball bouncing atop the new graduates.
In a pre-ceremony glitch yesterday, the escalator where the graduates were lining up malfunctioned and blew out the lights. The graduates had to queue up on every other step to prevent an escalator overload. I am trying not to think of this as a metaphor for these grads' career futures since the escalator was going down.
This latest commencement also lived up to previous ones due to the presence of Darth Vader three rows in front of us.
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| Darth Vader, center; unidentified cameraman on right -- notice the small black-and-white monitor under his left heel, which gave me a partial view of the proceedings. Also, that might be Obi Wan Kenobi in the center foreground, but I'm not sure since he wasn't wearing his hood. Do you see the chancellor speaking at the podium and the big screen projection of him? Me neither. |
Look, I dunno if Darth Vader had a relative who was graduating or what. Personally I think he'd make a great commencement speaker. Or they could have awarded him an honorary degree. At least if he'd been up on that stage I would have been able to see better.
About 10 minutes into the keynote address I began hoping that Mr. Vader would activate his signature remote death-grip choke-hold on the speaker, who seemed more intent on promoting his book about wire-tapping Whitey Bulger than actually relating to the graduates. That certainly would have spiced things up, right?
Later on I started fantasizing about Mr. Vader unsheathing his light saber and icing the audience members standing in front of me who were obstructing my view even more. Alas I was too intimidated to approach the evil Jedi Knight and ask for a favor. Look, he's really big.
Otherwise, the choir sounded great, the president kept things moving, nobody got tasered or had a medical emergency, and none of the grads flashed the crowd. (What I heard.)
Look, I'm not complaining, we have video. It was truly a proud moment when I finally caught a glimpse of our graduate's collar and heard his name mispronounced by the dean as he received his diploma.
Look, the important thing is we've got some newly-minted college graduates eager to work.
Upon reflection, maybe I should have asked Darth if he was hiring ....... Nah ... he's really really big ....
http://www.amazon.com/Most-Wanted-Murderous-Protected-ebook/dp/B005HF2WNG
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