Top 10 List of Things That Happened in Town While You Have Been Away on Active Duty

This is to our young friends currently serving our great country. You soldiers can jettison any Fear Of Missing Out right at the town line. We're talkin' BOR-ing! Judge for yourselves:


                       Top 10 List of Things That Happened in Town While You Have Been                                                                Away on Active Duty

      10.  The beer shortage abated right after you left.

        9.  Someone gave Silent Ant a new guitar no strings attached. Silent Ant bought a set of strings and attached them.

        8.   Our borderline Borders went bankrupt and moved across the border. So, no more Borders boarding here, maybe because it's so unbearably boring.

        7.  Five Guys opened a new restaurant with Chick-Fil-A called Five Guys And A Chick.

        6.  Skinhead grew a mustache on his chin and a beard on his upper lip.

        5.  Fingers broke the world record for 'f-bombs bursting in air.' Twice.

        4.  Shocky Fox changed his socks, combed his locks. Twice. That rocks.

        3.  Drama Queen was rushed to the hospital with a severe case of FOMO, thereby missing the year's best party.

        2.  Those injured at the above party (which BTW didn't make this list) successfully evaded Drama Queen in the ER.


      And the No. 1 Thing That Happened in Town While You Have Been Away on Active Duty:

        1.   Remember that brown jacket with the broken zipper you were looking for in '09? We found it! And guess what: The zipper isn't broken after all!




Everyone is looking forward to your homecoming so you can stir things up a bit -- but not too much, Ok?


GODSPEED!












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