Potty Mouthpiece

Yesterday I asked the Rocket Scientist what he was doing on the computer and he replied, 'You won't believe it, but I'm writing a toilet review.'

I wonder why he didn't think I'd believe him .....

See, we've always had a problem with the toilets in this house. The handles break, the flapper valves break, the connecting arms break, and that blue plastic thingie in between breaks too. Basically, everything connected to the units has broken and been replaced multiple times.

But worst of all is that they Always Clog Up. You could always count on one of our commodes being out of commission when we have guests or acute attacks of diarrhea not to mention guests who have acute attacks of diarrhea ....

Clearly, our low-flow, builder's-grade toilets are woefully inadequate for a family that evidently is so full of shit.

So we finally decided that life would be a whole lot better if we replaced the worst offender: the crapper in the family bathroom (the toilet, not the person).

You can get a new flusher at the Home Depot for less than $200. We liked a unit called The Cadet for $198. However after discussion, we bought the upgrade, The Champion, for 40 bucks more. It features a mighty 1.6 gal./flush rate,  a powerful 4-in. piston action Accelerator flush valve, an oversize 2-3/8 in. trapway, and a self-lowering seat. We were afraid The Cadet might not have the strength, endurance, and experience to deal with a daily six-pack of TP and several pounds of brown downloads. Go with the Champion, right?

One trip to the ER later, our Champion was fully installed and functioning beautifully. In fact, all clogs have ceased in the Champion.

It really does make life much better. Now instead of fixing the toilet, Rocket Scientist has the leisure time to write a review praising its performance.

Also, I have the leisure time to blog about it.

I wonder if the toilet company would be interested in compensating the Rocket Scientist for his endorsement. Who wouldn't want a toilet endorsed by a rocket scientist?

You don't have to be a rocket scientist to know the answer to that.

Ok, I first have to get RS's assent, but I see a future in this mouthpiece angle. Look, I'm sure there are plenty of other products he likes out there which would benefit from a rocket scientist's plug too. Maybe we could even get some free product, like a couple more Champions or a lower deductible for ER visits.

However, we may need to move fast to beat the competition. There's a Nobel Prize winner who lives a few blocks away .....















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