Pop-Up to the Post Office

No, I'm Not Stuck on the word 'post' even though it's been in several of my headlines lately. Instead, this is an open apology to all my friends and family members whose birthdays I've failed to acknowledge with cards.

Look, when I was younger I used to hand-make and send pop-up cards. Ever make a pop-up hamster? ... Ok, but have you ever made eight of them?? It takes patience and dedication, which I apparently lack these days. Nowadays, I buy cards at the store -- and then never send them.

I currently have four Happy Birthdays and a Get Well Soon pending in my special Card Organizer. This wooden file box, which I snagged at a deep discount probably because it's painted shades of purple, green, and yellow slime, is sitting right next to the stamps and address book. The town post office, furthermore, is no more further than two miles away.

Meanwhile, the birthdays have come and gone and the sick friend has long recovered and will no doubt be de-friending me any day now.

So what is my problem?



... After a few days of postulating, I've isolated some theories for Why I Hate Going To The Post Office:

1. I suffer from a disease called Post Office Phobia(c) (POP) which I have discovered, named, trademarked, copyrighted and may be acknowledged for some day if posthumously.

2. The incredibly life-like robots that work there creep me out.

3. Something having to do with making and mailing eight pop-up hamster invitations.

4. Standing on line is sooo boring.

5. Bad feng shui

6. I buy dull cards and therefore have no incentive to mail them.



Ok, I've decided No. 6 is the only thing I can change to increase the anticipation of a post office run without therapy or firearms. So I've officially ramped up my card-giving skills. In fact, the coolest kid I know is about to receive a (belated) pop-up Halloween card. I'm almost as excited to mail it as I am to make it ....

... Here are some tips if you wish to make pop-ups:

1. Get a book; Joan Irvine wrote some good ones, including 'How to Make Pop-Ups' and the sequel, 'How To Make Super Pop-Ups.' Even you can follow her directions.

2. Be sure to wipe your work surface clean before you start. I use my sleeve.

3. When you are making one, make two. If you screw or smear one up, you still have another. Or you could send the extra one to the second-coolest kid you know. The kid will think you think they're the top cool kid and your credibility will rise. Or if you don't know two cool kids you could save it as a template for next year and in the meantime try to meet another cool kid.


So anyway, please excuse me while I finish these two pop-up skeletons. The post office closes in 10 minutes .....

Happy Halloween!



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