Think Christmas, Act NOW!

... Yes, folks, it's never too early to start having an anxiety attack over Christmas: Why we have to have it here every year, The Menu, who's on the invite list, whom to blame when things screw up, and of course the gifts.

Ok, I may be brilliant and amazing, but I don't have much talent when it comes to choosing gifts. Just like you, judging from the gossip in past years ....


However, this year will be different since I'm giving all my loved ones their very own, personally autographed, unbound copy of 'It's all (c)opyrighted.'

And NOW, so can you.


All you have to do is contact me NOW and tell me how much you are willing to pay. Don't forget to add on postage.


Included are at least 20 published posts, plus later ones to be mailed at no extra charge up until The Big Holiday.

You get posts in honor of Mother's Day, Christmas (to come), plus the crowd-polarizing 'Top 10 List Of Things Sarah Palin Could Do Instead Of Run For President.'

Dead-animal lovers all over the globe will cherish 'The Cat's Obit.' Drivers everywhere can vicariously relive the experience of a visit to the Massachusetts Registry of Motor Vehicles. Who wouldn't want that? And who could forget the immortal homage to Shakespeare, 'Tattoo Be Or Not Tattoo Be?'


And as an extra-value additional added gift bonus, we'll even throw in this post you're reading right NOW -- ABSOLUTELY FREE!


Just imagine the look on your loved ones' faces when they open up their very own, personally autographed, unbound copy of 'It's all (c)opyrighted.' The memory will last forever.

Picture Great Aunt Priscilla's pursed lips when she reads 'The *uck It List.' It ought to shut her up at least through the entree course.

Or Creepy Cousin Clive, literally devouring the "You May Be Living With A Rocket Scientist IF ...' post. I'm talking furtively tearing off the page corners, rolling them into tiny balls and eating them. Delicious!

....

It's a natural pairing, a new tradition: candy canes & mistletoe, pine cones & holly berries, Christmas glog & Pat's blog ....

Still not convinced? What if I threw in instructions on how to fold the pages into an origami copyright symbol? Makes a great stocking stuffer -- the kids will love it; educational too.

Ok, what if I threw in a recipe for glog?


Look, wouldn't you rather have all the gift-choosing angst disappear so you can save that last Klonopin for 10 minutes before your guests arrive when the tree falls into the fire because the Lionel Express crashed into it after being ambushed by the cat?

Or wouldn't you like to skip the loser feeling on the 10:30 p.m. trip home from the mall Christmas Eve as you try to congratulate yourself for scooping up the perfect gift for Honeybuns that was only 700 percent over budget?


What, you need more time to decide? Fine, but you really should act NOW because there are only 141 days left before Christmas AND COUNTING ....



The operator is standing by NOW, but she's going to have to start fixing dinner soon, so HURRY! ACT NOW! NOW!

NOW!

Ask NOW about foreign language, audio and Braille editions. Large print too.

Ten percent discount on quantities of 20 or more. Supplies are unlimited ....


NOW!

NOW!

NOW!







Pass it along and remember 'It's all (c)opyrighted(c)2011(c)(c)