I can sense when my public's about to clamor for a blogger interview .... Ok, the novel I just finished had an author interview and book group questions at the end. So to demonstrate how erudite I am, here's my first practice effort for a back-of-the-blog Q & A.
Picture a young reporter who insisted on remaining anonymous asking me the questions you assume I am way too busy to answer:
Q. Where did the name 'It's all (c)opyrighted' come from?
A. ... I was anxiously eager to get blogging when I signed up on blogspot. The first thing they ask you -- after your name, which I aced -- is 'What do you want to call your blog?' Now, I had never given any thought to a blog title, so 'It's all (c)opyrighted' was the first thing that popped into my head (after the James Franco fantasy). People have told me they like it, and in fact the first time I used the copyright symbol was on a ninth-grade English paper, so you could argue there's some history ....
Which reminds me: That gesture I just used when I said 'argue': the one with the palm-up closed fist that springs open -- that's copyrighted and trademarked but available for licensing. You should put that in your article.
Q. How close is your blog persona to the real you?
A. She is definitely a facet of my personality but in reality I'm younger, smarter, wittier and more attractive.
Q. Is she your alter ego?
A. One of them, anyway ....
Q. How many alter egos do you have?
A. Look, are you a reporter or a therapist? Because if you're a therapist maybe I could make an appointment ....
Q. No, my degree is in Journalism .... How much of what you write is true and how much is made up?
A. Usually the post is inspired by a real event, then I just start writing and see where it takes me. I've started on themes that never went anywhere; they are sitting in my Drafts box. Which is getting quite drafty, but feels great in the summer especially after a hot flash.
Q. Okaaaaay .... Your writing has been described as paraprosdokian. Do you agree?
A. What, you mean that erudite word referring to a sentence which takes an unexpected and possibly humorous turn? You must have studied at some fancy-shmancy J-school to know that word at such a young age.
Q. I did my undergrad work at Columbia and then studied at Oxford.
A. So what are you doing interviewing ME?
Q. Actually, I'm on my way to Nantucket from here to cover the president's vacation.
A. Can I come too?
Q. ... Your writing has been described as paraprosdokian. Do you agree?
A. ... [Pause] I'm trying to think of a response that would qualify as a paraprosdokian. Maybe I could e-mail you one before your deadline.
Q. What does your family think of your blogging venture?
A. The cat's Ok with it, obviously, or we'd all be suffering. In our household, silence equals approbation, so I guess everyone loves it.
Q. What does the future hold for your blog? Any plans?
A. Plans? What's that?? Look, the well-being of my family is my primary concern. Beyond that, if I can bring a smile to someone's face, I am fulfilled at least temporarily until the next opportunity.
Q. I think I have everything I need here. Thanks!
A. You mean it's over? I never got to mention --
Q. I really must be heading out ....
A. Fine, but gimme your email address so I can send you a paraprosdokian answer. I'm thinking of something along the lines of 'that's about as close as I'll ever get to Kim Kardashian' .... Wait! Isn't a photographer coming? I just had my hair done ....
Could you at least wait so I can give you a copy of my blog to pass along to the president?
Come baaaaaack!
... I think that went well, don't you?
Pass it along and remember, It's all (c)opyrighted(c)2011(c)(c)
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