I may have been spending too much time in the garden lately. My back, knees and hands ache so much all I want to do is curl up in a fetal position and suck on a bottle of ibuprofen formula.
You may call it sunstroke, but dawn broke over Marblehead (as we say in The Bay State) when I realized if I lived on the ocean, all of my landscape woes would disappear.
An ocean demands respect. You don't turn your back on her. You watch her, get out of her way when she's angry, and refrain from pouring toxins in her. That's about it.
The ocean is not something you need to mow, sow, weed, feed, fence, water, weed-whack, prune, transplant, dig, de-bug, weed again, mulch, then paint the fence again, or even shovel.
It sounds like the ideal front, back and side property to me.
I would love a view free of weeds sticking up like a middle finger through the mulch you just laid yesterday, taunting you and filling you with so much rage that when you pull them you purposely leave them out to dry and die -- kind of like a crucifixion for the other weeds to see and fear and take warning ....
Or when the weeds in the cracks in your driveway flower overnight no matter how many times you drive over them. Back and forth. Back and forth. It's so dispiriting. ....
If I lived on a boat or better yet a yacht, I could keep some of my favorite plants topside like Kevin Costner's lime tree in 'Waterworld.' Add some tomatoes, chives, peppers and cilantro for fresh salsa for the fresh fish .... It sounds to me like a fresh concept for a fresh new cooking show, 'WaterStove' or 'Surf 'n' Saute' or 'Galley Slave' ....
Who wouldn't want to trade crabgrass for crab legs?
When you live on the water you also get to use vocabulary like 'topside' and 'jib' and 'poop deck,' which is way cooler than 'upstairs,' 'soffits,' and 'laundry room.' You get to say 'knots' and also tie things in knots, which I'm good at, and you get to travel while staying home and presumably eat out a lot.
I also like the concept of being able to hose everything down on a boat. I could save a small fortune on cleaning supplies not to mention exfoliating products. Bet the taxes on a few gallons of saltwater are pretty reasonable, too ....
This could work for me .... Ok, I know nothing about sailing beyond a few vocab words, but I'm a good student, a strong swimmer and an excellent floater. I have these two built-in personal flotation devices ....
... Know anyone who's selling a piece of the ocean cheap? I may want to build a boat on it ... just as soon as I unload this manicure-busting piece of property we call home.
Interested? It's got a lot of potential -- and if you act NOW, it's virtually weed free ....
I think I need a vacation. Either that or it's time to get out of the sun .....
Pass it along, and remember it's all (c)opyrighted(c)2011(c)(c)
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